It has been four years since that rainy day we promised to stay by each other’s sides forever. With multiple job moves, both of us completing undergrad, both of us working on grad school, three cities, four apartments, six countries, and one puppy dog, it seems like a lifetime! Here are the top four things I have learned since becoming a wife in 2013:
- Your’e never going to be the perfect spouse. I wanted so badly to be the wife from the movies. To have dinner on the table every night with my hair curled with heels on, and for a few months I did it! But I was also going to school full time and working full time, so you can imagine the break downs I had. I remember crying one night and realizing that being the “perfect” wife was making me a terrible wife. Instead I have learned to love coming home at the end of a long day and be a bad wife– ignore a messy house and pick up dinner so that I can spend TIME with Chris (usually watching The Office). That social expectation and desire to have June Cleaver’s household has never disappeared, and still takes over now and then, but I try and practice being a bad wife which has added more meaning and less pressure on the both of us.
PS please watch Bad Moms some day, a little vulgar but much inspiration came from this ha!
- Find something you love to do together. When times get tough for Chris and I, we know we can always depend on one thing bringing us back and that is travel. It is a mutual passion and has saved us in more ways than one! If you can find something you both love, working out, reading, going to Disneyland, video games, Netflix, whatever it is, do it together!
- We have to support each other’s passions. This one is more of an ode to Chris than anything because I have a few too many passions (thank you to my dad for that gene) and am always asking him to tag along and/or help. He rarely complains, lets me take on new roles that might take up a lot of time, and then he always helps when I of course get overwhelmed. And in return I support his decisions and love when he does things just for himself. One of my favorite phrases of his: “What makes you happy is what makes me happy”.
- Reminisce & start new traditions. I am very nostalgic to the bone so this one is easy for me. I love talking about old times and past experiences and one of the most fun ways to do this is through photos and videos. Every time I watch our wedding video I almost tear up! When Chris and I go back through the memories of four years, and also tell stories of when we were kids, we always have the best conversations. Starting traditions gives me the same feeling. Maybe because I know someday I will look back on them making these memories ever lasting. Some traditions we have started are kissing at stoplights, Star Wars marathons when a new one comes out, going on a few trips each year, The Office + ice cream almost every night, always popcorn and a coke at the movies, and as you can see above, dressing up in our wedding clothes for our anniversary!
Do you have some sage advice or life lessons about marriage? I’d love to hear and learn from you.
Happy four years with you Chrissy!